Managing Life

I think I am in denial.  I feel great, and have nothing wrong with me.  Except I have this tiny little tumor inside my breast that needs to come out, or I will be very sick in the future. 
So, I organize my life to add another level of chaos.  I stepped away from all my commitments, so that I can focus on "beating the beast", as a friend referred to it.  I looked to what personal and work-related projects I can focus on that do not have deadlines or people counting on me to deliver against a deadline.  I view myself as incredibly fortunate to have the flexibility to do this.  And I start trying to view this as a vacation where I get to read all the magazines that have piled up, binge watch the TV shows I have missed over the years, and possibly write the book that has been running through my head for a few years now.  These things I can do regardless of how I feel.  


To my astounding surprise, friends and family do not hesitate to offer help and support.  I am not sure they have any idea what they are getting into, I am a horrible patient; cranky, whiny, and bitchy when I do not feel well.   I guess if we focus on the laughter …  


So again, I do what I do best, create organization out of chaos.  Start to work on ways to channel the support.   I find tools like this blog post and signupgenius.com to streamline the process.  Because I know me, I do not ask for help well.  If I must ask more than once, I will give up and find a way to do it myself, or not do it at all.  And I realize that people like to help, it makes them feel good, so who am I to look a gift horse in the mouth. 
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I have always believed that there is a reason for everything, and things happen when they are supposed to.  I am now focused on figuring out what the positive reason for this diagnosis is, and what good things will result.