I think I am in denial. I feel great, and have nothing wrong with me. Except I have this tiny little tumor inside my breast that needs to come out, or I will be very sick in the future.
So, I organize my life to add another level of chaos. I stepped away from all my commitments, so that I can focus on "beating the beast", as a friend referred to it. I looked to what personal and work-related projects I can focus on that do not have deadlines or people counting on me to deliver against a deadline. I view myself as incredibly fortunate to have the flexibility to do this. And I start trying to view this as a vacation where I get to read all the magazines that have piled up, binge watch the TV shows I have missed over the years, and possibly write the book that has been running through my head for a few years now. These things I can do regardless of how I feel.
To my astounding surprise, friends and family do not hesitate to offer help and support. I am not sure they have any idea what they are getting into, I am a horrible patient; cranky, whiny, and bitchy when I do not feel well. I guess if we focus on the laughter …
So again, I do what I do best, create organization out of chaos. Start to work on ways to channel the support. I find tools like this blog post and signupgenius.com to streamline the process. Because I know me, I do not ask for help well. If I must ask more than once, I will give up and find a way to do it myself, or not do it at all. And I realize that people like to help, it makes them feel good, so who am I to look a gift horse in the mouth.
I have always believed that there is a reason for everything, and things happen when they are supposed to. I am now focused on figuring out what the positive reason for this diagnosis is, and what good things will result.